This is so brilliant I should probably make it my new year's resolutions

from molls:

here’s some things i’ve had to learn

• Don’t answer your phone if you do not recognize the number

• Start your days with a half a bagel and a tall glass of ice water. Then get your coffee.

• Walk as frequently as possible, especially when you don’t feel like it.

• Know who your enemies are.

• After 23, being “that girl” at a party is not cute. Again, drink a glass of water and shut the fuck up.

• Know your worth. Powerful women know what their rate is. If you lowball someone on your fee, they will pay you that fee AND think you are an idiot. Aim high. You can always readjust your rate later.

• Debt will not disappear if you ignore it. It gets worse and worse and worse and then you can’t buy a house some day when you have the money. Contact the people you owe money to and explain your situation. They are surprisingly willing to work with you.

• Cable television is a siphon on your life and your wallet.

• Walk with purpose at all times. If you look confident, people won’t ask you questions. This sometimes requires you to drink before you walk.

• Don’t be a nervous talker. Chitchat is for the playground.

• Learn to read people’s faces. It’s invaluable in social situations and the work place.

• You teach people how to treat you. I learned this from Oprah. If someone thinks they can push you around, react in a way that informs them they can’t.

• Say “yes” as frequently as possible.

• When in doubt, drink a glass of chardonnay over ice and take a quarter of a Xanax bar

Admittedly, I am nowhere near 23, but some of those up there really make sense. And seeing how I haven't written my New Year's Resolutions (argue that it's useless all you like, it's a tradition for me. and no prizes for guessing I don't remember them anymore after 3 weeks)

So here's mine: (cheesiness up ahead, and I apologise)

2012 new year resolutions (or, things I have to TRY completing because it would be good for me)

• Have a hot cup of Milo every morning with a wholegrain sandwich loaded with ham and cheese. Coffee or tea would be nice, but you have to brew coffee and teabags are annoying. I usually just use the instant Milo packets. Gah. People these days.
• Eat healthy.
• Stop holding back. Go all out.
• Stop peppering awkward conversation with useless details. I tend to say stupid things when the situation gets awkward. 
• Gotta stop watching useless TV shows (with the exception of HIMYM & Bones & New Girl) because they are superficial and it's actually mean to laugh at the reality TV character's misfortune. I couldn't help but to spam Keeping Up With the Kardashians & Jersey Shore that one time. Watch awesome things like Discovery Channel.
• Live life with a sense of purpose and belonging.
• Stand up for yourself. All the time.
• When in doubt, Google. Facts make you calm.
• STOP BITING YOUR NAILS.
• Be genuine. I don't care if that makes you unintentionally mean or direct, but you've got to stop doing and saying things you don't actually mean.

That's it I guess. I've been Googling using terms like "brain food" and "healthy diets for teens" (LOL LOL) and I'm gonna print those out now and stick it on the fridge.